Repulsion Fascination: 7 Reasons it’s Ok to be a Murderino
17 December 2018
I’ve struggled the whole time that I’ve been listening to true crime podcasts; struggled to reconcile that I use the awful things that have happened to real people as entertainment. It’s not like watching Law & Order. They don’t just appear on TV at exactly the time of night you happen to be on the couch anyway. Podcasts gotta be sought out, they feel kinda intimate cause they’re right in your ears, it’s just you and your hosts and I really, really look forward to them. Every Sunday – except for that one horrendous week per month that the team takes a break – I download and listen to the new Casefile podcast. I’m living my best life, if at work I’m doing a task that allows me to listen to my best friends Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark talk about horrible things that people do to people, it actually helps me concentrate on design and drawing. Whhhhhhhhy?
Welp, after considering this for countless hours – and skimming a few articles about the large amount of women that are into the same stuff – I’ve come up with a few reasons that help me accept this indulgence.
1. I’m way too naive and trusting to live safely in this world. Years ago I was out running at night (it just occurs to me now that you’re not supposed to do that either?) and came home with a woman who stopped me on the street needing to use my phone for some reason that didn’t actually make any sense. After she’d left – learning about all of our muscular, fictional boyfriends that were about to come over and stay the night – my flatmates sat me down and explained to me that this person clearly used a lot of drugs and wanted more drugs and so intended to come back and steal our things. I was at least 25 then. And while I see a lot of talk about people trying to be more sympathetic and trusting, damn if true crime stories don’t help me to be a little less of a freaking idiot in those ways.
2. I’m really, really curious. I want to know how everything works. Especially the human mind, my own, but also murderers. It’s a hard and constant battle, figuring out what makes me tick, sometimes it’s nice to have a little break from analysing the murder-board in my head with myself as the suspect, and overthink the psychology of someone completely different to me (or not?!).
3. They make me think that if I was ever in trouble, I would know how to get out of it. I’m pretty sure I would actually just freeze up and comply, as I’m all too aware that this is my fight-or-flight response. But a girl can dream.
4. I can pretend to know how The Law works!
5. The feeling you get when you’ve listened to a long horrible story and the perp gets caught is really, really good.
6. Some podcasts talk about aspects of crime that I have never really thought about before. They makes me appreciate that a traumatic event doesn’t just end when the perpatrator is put in prison, that the perpatrator doesn’t always get put in prison – even when the police know who did it, how cycles of crime and hereditary trauma eat peoples lives and what cops go through.
7. All the conversational-style hosts admit to feeling the same guilt, questioning, but in the end fascination, so I know I’m not alone.
What’s this got to do with design? See point 2.
That’s it. The End.
Here’s a list of recent my faves! None of these particularly sensationalise crimes and they don’t give all the gory details, I suppose this is just relative to other podcasts though really.